Yesterday was a horrible day. The worst day of my life. I had sixteen customers. The first one came at eleven o’clock in the morning. The last one left at three o’clock. Only one didn’t want sex. Five wanted anal. When Leif came to get my money he wanted oral and I did what he wanted. I don’t care any more. It’s as if my body doesn’t belong to me any more. Now it is as if everything that happens is happening to someone else and I am just watching it.
I am too tired to do any laundry and too tired to clean my apartment. I hardly have time to eat. Most of the time I eat noodles that I buy from a small shop near my apartment. They are like MaMa noodles which I eat in Thailand but they are made in Japan. They don’t taste as good as MaMa noodles but I don’t care. I haven’t eaten watermelon for a long time. I hardly have time to eat when I am working. The customers keep coming, like a flood that I can not stop. Before, when Oliver ran the agency, I would call him after each customer to say that he had finished and then I would wait for him to call me about the next customer. But now Natalie calls all the time to tell me that my customer’s time is up and then I have to tell him to go or he has to pay me more money. And then Natalie tells me that I have five minutes or ten minutes before the next customer comes. Sometimes a customer will ring the bell before the old customer has gone so I have to tell him to hurry and once I had to put one customer in the kitchen until the new customer was in the bedroom. I can not complain because if I complain then Natalie will tell Eric and he will punish me.
After the last customer goes then usually I fall asleep on the sofa, without even showering. I feel dirty all the time. Dirty inside and outside. My insides hurt all the time and I think my itch is back. Sometimes when I go to the toilet there is blood. Not too much but it is blood. I want to go and see a doctor but I don’t want to ask Natalie for time off because I know that she will tell Eric.
When I fell asleep I had bad dreams, and then Belinda came to talk to me. She was covered in blood and one of her eyes was half closed and she was crying .I couldn’t tell what she was saying to me because she was crying so much. Then she screamed ‘Nancy!’ and I woke up.
I was shaking because the dream was so real. I phoned Nancy and it took her ages to answer the phone and when she did she sounded really sleepy and I could tell that something was wrong. I asked her what had happened and she was mumbling about Eric and her baby. I said I’d go to see her and I couldn’t hear what she said so I just put on my coat and ran over to her apartment.
I kept pressing her bell but she didn’t answer and then I phoned her again and I think she was asleep but she woke up and buzzed me in. I had to bang on the door before she left me into her flat and I could see right away that something bad had happened. She had a bruise on her eye and her chin was red and on the coffee table there was a bottle of sleeping tablets and bottle of whisky. I asked her what she had done and she was so sleepy she couldn’t say anything. I knew what she had done. She had swallowed lots of tablets and whiskey.
I didn’t know what to do because she was dying and I couldn’t call for an ambulance because they might tell the police and then Nancy would get into trouble. I tried to get her to drink water but she was too sleepy and she lay down on the sofa and curled up. Then I phoned Vince and he said he would come right round and he did though by the time he got there Nancy was hardly breathing.
Vince said we had to keep her awake so we carried her to the bathroom and we all stood under the shower with the water cold and then she woke up a bit. Vince told me to make coffee and while I was in the kitchen he made her sick by pushing his fingers down her throat. She threw up a lot and the bathroom was a mess but Vince said we had to get the tablets out off her stomach because once they were all in her blood then she would die. We made her drink the coffee and then we kept her walking around and around and talking to her. Vince said she would be okay, he said if she had swallowed Paracetemol then she would have poisoned her liver but sleeping tablets were okay if you got them out of the stomach. After four hours or so Nancy wasn’t so sleepy but she was crying a lot. She said that Eric had beaten her up and that he had told her that she had to get an abortion. She said that Eric had found out that she was pregnant and she didn’t know how because it was a secret but I know how. I told Laura and she must have told Eric so what happened to Nancy was all my fault. She said that Eric went to her apartment and said that she was a whore and pregnant whores can not work so he would get Natalie to take her to a doctor who would take the baby out. Nancy said that she wanted to keep the baby, even though she didn’t know who the father was, but now she had no choice. She started crying again and said that she wanted to die. I told her not to be silly but actually I understood how she felt.
Vince left us in the morning and I lay on the bed with Nancy, holding her. Then at eleven o’clock in the morning Natalie called my phone and said that I had a customer and I had to go. I took the sleeping tablets and the whisky with me. When I went Nancy said that she felt better but I felt worse.
The customer wanted anal and he was very rough. I had no condoms but I didn’t care, I just lay on the bed and let him do what he wanted to do and thought about Daeng and how much I missed him. The customer left without saying anything and I got up and sat on the sofa and cried and cried and cried. I phoned Daeng and told him that I loved him but that was all I could say because I was crying so much so I hung up.
So that is it. That is the story of my life so far. Now I know one thing for sure and that is that I can not carry on like this any more. I have done enough. I have done more than enough. My family has the house now and there is enough money in my bank so I have done what I set out to do, I have taken care of my family.
I keep looking at the bottle of perfume that Laura gave me. It is Belinda’s magic perfume, I know that for sure. Before I thought that maybe Sandra had killed Belinda but now I know for sure that it was Eric because he gave the bottle to Laura. Eric is not scared of anybody. He is the most dangerous man that I have ever met in my whole life. I do not know why I have ended up in his power. Maybe I did something wrong in a previous life and this is the price I must pay.
I think that maybe what Nancy tried to do was not such a bad idea. At least if you are dead then no one can hurt you. I have Nancy’s tablets here and I have counted them. There are thirty-four tablets in the bottle and I think that will be enough for what I want to do.
Eric will never let me leave. He will never let me go and live with my son in Udon Thani. He will work me until I am dead. I know that for sure now. He wants me to be his slave. We are all his slaves now. No one can help me. I am sure the police can not help me and the Thai Embassy can not help me. Even if I run away Eric’s friends in Thailand will hurt me and my family. There is no escape for me.
There is only one way that I can end this. There is only one way that I can make the pain stop and now I know what I am going to do. Nothing can stop me. I have to do what I have to do. I have decided and nothing now can change my mind.
My name is Pornthip. That is my real name. Now I don’t care if anyone knows who I am because I am not ashamed of who I am or what I am going to do. Now I have to say Lar Gon. That is Thai for Goodbye. Please do not think I am a bad girl for what I am about to do. I am not a bad girl. All I ever wanted to do was to help my family and to give them a better life. That is why I did this job in the first place. It is not my fault that everything has gone wrong and my life has been ruined. So now I will say Lar Gon. Good bye.
Thursday, 15 November 2007
Wednesday, 14 November 2007
Tired, tired, tired
I can’t go on like this for much longer. It is too much. I am working too hard. I am tired all the time and I know that if it was not for the cocaine I am taking then I would not be able to stay awake. Now I have to buy cocaine from Vince every day. That is £200 a day I have to spend.
Last night I went to see Robert. I was so pleased when Natalie called to say that Robert had booked me for three hours outcall. I was very tired when I went to see him because I had already seen six customers but I didn’t take cocaine because my time with Robert is always easy time. I took him £5,000 to pay off some of the money I owe him and he was so surprised. He gave me back £1,000 for my fee and my tip, which was sweet of him. We went into the kitchen and he made me a peanut butter sandwich and a chocolate milkshake. He asked me if I was okay and I lied and said that I was because I do not want him to know how much trouble I am in. I know that he would want to help me but I think that Eric is a very dangerous man and I think he might hurt Robert if he thought Robert was a problem. I do not want Robert to be a problem for Eric because Robert is a really nice man. We went into the bedroom and Robert licked my toes and stroked me and I tried to relax but all I could think about was how terrible my life has become. Before I went home I hugged him tightly and said ‘I love you, Daddy’ and do you know, actually I think I do love him. I wish he was my Daddy and that he could make everything all right for me but really I do not think anyone can do that for me.
As soon as I got home more customers started to come. One after the other. You know, now I have seen so many customers that I can not remember their faces. Usually I do not even ask them their names now. I do not send any texts any more at night. I am too tired. Some of my regular customers send me texts saying they miss me and asking if I am okay but I don’t reply any more.
At two o’clock in the morning Leif came for his money. I had £850 for him but he said that wasn’t enough. I said no, he could check the book and £850 was half of what I had earned. He said that Eric had decided that we should give him £250 extra every day for the cost of advertising and protection. That was the new rule. I said that wasn’t fair and he hit me. Really, he slapped me across the face. He said life wasn’t fair and that I was lucky that Eric let me keep anything because I was just a whore. I didn’t cry even though my eyes filled with tears. I just nodded and said okay because there was nothing else I could do and I gave him another £250. Then he told me to give him oral sex and I did. I wanted to bite, bite, bite and hurt him the way he hurt me, but I didn’t. I did what he wanted and then he went.
Candy, Nancy and Wanda all called me during the night, crying. They all said that it wasn’t fair that Eric was now taking half of what we earned plus £250 but they all said that they were too scared to do anything. They all said they hated working every day, too. Before we used to have Sunday’s off but now every day is a busy day. We never get time to relax or have fun, it is just work, work, work, sex, sex, sex. We are all trapped. We are like farm animals now and we have no choice, we have to do what the farmer wants because the farmer has the power of life and death over his animals.
Last night I went to see Robert. I was so pleased when Natalie called to say that Robert had booked me for three hours outcall. I was very tired when I went to see him because I had already seen six customers but I didn’t take cocaine because my time with Robert is always easy time. I took him £5,000 to pay off some of the money I owe him and he was so surprised. He gave me back £1,000 for my fee and my tip, which was sweet of him. We went into the kitchen and he made me a peanut butter sandwich and a chocolate milkshake. He asked me if I was okay and I lied and said that I was because I do not want him to know how much trouble I am in. I know that he would want to help me but I think that Eric is a very dangerous man and I think he might hurt Robert if he thought Robert was a problem. I do not want Robert to be a problem for Eric because Robert is a really nice man. We went into the bedroom and Robert licked my toes and stroked me and I tried to relax but all I could think about was how terrible my life has become. Before I went home I hugged him tightly and said ‘I love you, Daddy’ and do you know, actually I think I do love him. I wish he was my Daddy and that he could make everything all right for me but really I do not think anyone can do that for me.
As soon as I got home more customers started to come. One after the other. You know, now I have seen so many customers that I can not remember their faces. Usually I do not even ask them their names now. I do not send any texts any more at night. I am too tired. Some of my regular customers send me texts saying they miss me and asking if I am okay but I don’t reply any more.
At two o’clock in the morning Leif came for his money. I had £850 for him but he said that wasn’t enough. I said no, he could check the book and £850 was half of what I had earned. He said that Eric had decided that we should give him £250 extra every day for the cost of advertising and protection. That was the new rule. I said that wasn’t fair and he hit me. Really, he slapped me across the face. He said life wasn’t fair and that I was lucky that Eric let me keep anything because I was just a whore. I didn’t cry even though my eyes filled with tears. I just nodded and said okay because there was nothing else I could do and I gave him another £250. Then he told me to give him oral sex and I did. I wanted to bite, bite, bite and hurt him the way he hurt me, but I didn’t. I did what he wanted and then he went.
Candy, Nancy and Wanda all called me during the night, crying. They all said that it wasn’t fair that Eric was now taking half of what we earned plus £250 but they all said that they were too scared to do anything. They all said they hated working every day, too. Before we used to have Sunday’s off but now every day is a busy day. We never get time to relax or have fun, it is just work, work, work, sex, sex, sex. We are all trapped. We are like farm animals now and we have no choice, we have to do what the farmer wants because the farmer has the power of life and death over his animals.
Tuesday, 13 November 2007
Perfume
I bought more condoms yesterday. Now I use more than a dozen every day, sometimes twenty or more. I had to buy soap powder, too, and shampoo and soap and KY Jelly. I use a lot of KY Jelly now because I do anal three or four times every day. I don’t know why English men like anal sex so much but a lot of them do. I have never heard of a Thai man wanting do that. I think they would think it was dirty.
At two o’clock in the afternoon Natalie phoned me and said I had to go to Laura’s apartment to do ninety minutes incall. I had to wait until Laura was free because she already had a customer and I had only been in her flat for five minutes when the new customer came. Laura said it was her fourth customer already that day. She said she has been really busy since Eric took over the agency and is making more money than she ever dreamed about. She is right. When Oliver ran the agency I made about £300 a day profit, sometimes £400, but now almost every day I make £800 or £900. We are making more money but we are working too hard. My insides hurt all the time now, though it doesn’t hurt as much when I take cocaine. And I am so tired when I wake up in the morning. It’s like I never get enough sleep. I hardly ever phone Daeng any more. I know that he will be able to tell how tired and sad I am and he will ask me when I am going back to Thailand and I don’t know what I can tell him. I don’t think Eric will ever let me leave.
I took a bit of cocaine before I went to see Laura and I was glad that I did because the customer wanted lots of sex. He was fairly young, maybe twenty five, and he said that he was a property developer and that he drove a Ferrari and had big house in Surrey which is where rich people live. I don’t think he had taken Viagra but he was very strong and made love to us both in lots and lots of positions. He said he loved Asian girls because they would do anything and I wanted to tell him that I only did anything because Eric had said that he would hurt me if I said no but I didn’t say that.
We used lots of condoms and at one point we ran out and Laura told me to get some more from the drawer by the bed and I did and that was when I got a shock that made me shake. You know what I saw in the drawer? It was the small bottle of perfume that Belinda had - the magic perfume that made men fall in love with her. I am sure it was the same bottle because I recognised the Khmer writing on it. I took out the condoms and closed the drawer and then the customer put on a new condom and made love to me. I was a bit scared when I saw the perfume bottle in Laura’s drawer because I know that Belinda and Laura were not friends so I know that Belinda would not have given her the bottle. That means either Laura took it from Belinda’s flat or someone else took it from her flat, and whoever took it from her flat might have killed Belinda.
After the customer left I had a shower and when I came out of the bathroom I was so shocked because I saw Laura taking heroin. She was doing what we Thais call chasing the dragon where you put heroin on a piece of silver paper and heat it with a cigarette lighter and then breath in the smoke. I have never done it, ever. Heroin is a very dangerous drug. Laura said that it helped her relax and that she smoked heroin two or three times a day. She asked me if I wanted some and I said no.
The customer left about fifteen minutes early but we didn’t phone Natalie right away, we just relaxed. We don’t get much time to relax since Oliver left.
We talked about Nancy because Nancy had phoned Laura to say how unhappy she was and I said yes, she had been crying with me, too. I said that it might be because she was pregnant and Laura was surprised because she didn’t know that Nancy was pregnant. I said it was a secret and Laura said that was okay, she wouldn’t tell anybody.
Laura said her young sister was coming to work in London. Her name is Tip and she is eighteen years old. Laura said Tip was applying for a student visa and if she got the visa then she could start working for the agency. I was really surprised because I hate the agency and I hate what I have to do but Laura she doesn’t seem to mind. I can’t believe that she would want her young sister to do this job but she was serious. She said if Tip could get her own visa and didn’t need a contract then she could earn a lot of money. In just two months she could earn enough to build her own house. I think there is something wrong with Laura. Maybe it is because she is smoking heroin that she can not think clearly.
Laura closed her eyes and sighed as if she was dreaming. I went into the bedroom and got the perfume bottle from her drawer and when I went back into the main room her eyes were open but she looked a bit dizzy. I asked her where she had gotten it from and she said that Eric had given it her and then I knew for sure that Eric is a very dangerous man because I am sure now that it was him who killed Belinda. I couldn’t tell Laura what I thought because Laura likes Eric and does FFF for him which is probably why he gave her the perfume. She said that she liked the smell and that ever since she had been using the perfume, Eric had been crazy for her. Now I think I understand everything. I think Eric killed Belinda and stole her money and her perfume and he gave the perfume to Laura and she used it but she didn’t know that it is magic and that now Eric has fallen in love with her. Laura was smiling and giggling and she lay back on the sofa and I asked her if I could borrow the perfume for a while because I thought it smelled lovely and she giggled and said of course I could because I was her best friend and that it was thanks to me that she was doing this job and she was making so much money. I put the bottle in my bag and went home.
On the way home Vince called me and asked me if I wanted to buy some cocaine and I said yes, I did. I asked him to come around that evening because now I have more than £10,000 in my apartment and I need his help to send it to my bank account in Udon Thani.
After I got home I had five more customers. One of them was black and I was so scared when I saw him on my CCTV. I phoned Natalie and said that he was black and she said that it didn’t matter because he was a customer and I had to see him. I was scared to let him into my apartment because I had so much money there but actually, he was quite nice. His name was Derek and he was from Brixton which is in South London and he spoke just like he was English. He repaired computers and was quite smart and to tell the truth I had quite a good time with him. I don’t know why I was so scared of black men before because Derek was a good man. Jai Dee we say in Thai, which means he has a good heart. Not like Eric and Leif. They are Jam Dam and Jai Lai and even Jai Sat, which are bad words in Thai.
Leif came to collect my money at half past two in the morning. I had £850 for him. He said that next Saturday night there would be a party at the house in St Johns Wood and that all the girls from the agency would be going. He said that Eric wanted me to do a sex show with Candy and Laura, a domination show with Candy and Laura being the dominant ones and me being the slave. Leif said he was looking forward to seeing what the girls were going to do to me and he smiled and it was a very cruel smile. I was a bit scared but I know I have no choice. I have to do whatever they say. That is my life now. He told me to give him oral and he did and then he said he wanted to have sex so I went to the bedroom and lay down. He took off his clothes and before I could do anything he was having sex with me. I begged him to use a condom but he wouldn’t. When he went I rushed to the bathroom and spent ages washing myself, but no matter how hard I washed I didn’t feel clean.
At two o’clock in the afternoon Natalie phoned me and said I had to go to Laura’s apartment to do ninety minutes incall. I had to wait until Laura was free because she already had a customer and I had only been in her flat for five minutes when the new customer came. Laura said it was her fourth customer already that day. She said she has been really busy since Eric took over the agency and is making more money than she ever dreamed about. She is right. When Oliver ran the agency I made about £300 a day profit, sometimes £400, but now almost every day I make £800 or £900. We are making more money but we are working too hard. My insides hurt all the time now, though it doesn’t hurt as much when I take cocaine. And I am so tired when I wake up in the morning. It’s like I never get enough sleep. I hardly ever phone Daeng any more. I know that he will be able to tell how tired and sad I am and he will ask me when I am going back to Thailand and I don’t know what I can tell him. I don’t think Eric will ever let me leave.
I took a bit of cocaine before I went to see Laura and I was glad that I did because the customer wanted lots of sex. He was fairly young, maybe twenty five, and he said that he was a property developer and that he drove a Ferrari and had big house in Surrey which is where rich people live. I don’t think he had taken Viagra but he was very strong and made love to us both in lots and lots of positions. He said he loved Asian girls because they would do anything and I wanted to tell him that I only did anything because Eric had said that he would hurt me if I said no but I didn’t say that.
We used lots of condoms and at one point we ran out and Laura told me to get some more from the drawer by the bed and I did and that was when I got a shock that made me shake. You know what I saw in the drawer? It was the small bottle of perfume that Belinda had - the magic perfume that made men fall in love with her. I am sure it was the same bottle because I recognised the Khmer writing on it. I took out the condoms and closed the drawer and then the customer put on a new condom and made love to me. I was a bit scared when I saw the perfume bottle in Laura’s drawer because I know that Belinda and Laura were not friends so I know that Belinda would not have given her the bottle. That means either Laura took it from Belinda’s flat or someone else took it from her flat, and whoever took it from her flat might have killed Belinda.
After the customer left I had a shower and when I came out of the bathroom I was so shocked because I saw Laura taking heroin. She was doing what we Thais call chasing the dragon where you put heroin on a piece of silver paper and heat it with a cigarette lighter and then breath in the smoke. I have never done it, ever. Heroin is a very dangerous drug. Laura said that it helped her relax and that she smoked heroin two or three times a day. She asked me if I wanted some and I said no.
The customer left about fifteen minutes early but we didn’t phone Natalie right away, we just relaxed. We don’t get much time to relax since Oliver left.
We talked about Nancy because Nancy had phoned Laura to say how unhappy she was and I said yes, she had been crying with me, too. I said that it might be because she was pregnant and Laura was surprised because she didn’t know that Nancy was pregnant. I said it was a secret and Laura said that was okay, she wouldn’t tell anybody.
Laura said her young sister was coming to work in London. Her name is Tip and she is eighteen years old. Laura said Tip was applying for a student visa and if she got the visa then she could start working for the agency. I was really surprised because I hate the agency and I hate what I have to do but Laura she doesn’t seem to mind. I can’t believe that she would want her young sister to do this job but she was serious. She said if Tip could get her own visa and didn’t need a contract then she could earn a lot of money. In just two months she could earn enough to build her own house. I think there is something wrong with Laura. Maybe it is because she is smoking heroin that she can not think clearly.
Laura closed her eyes and sighed as if she was dreaming. I went into the bedroom and got the perfume bottle from her drawer and when I went back into the main room her eyes were open but she looked a bit dizzy. I asked her where she had gotten it from and she said that Eric had given it her and then I knew for sure that Eric is a very dangerous man because I am sure now that it was him who killed Belinda. I couldn’t tell Laura what I thought because Laura likes Eric and does FFF for him which is probably why he gave her the perfume. She said that she liked the smell and that ever since she had been using the perfume, Eric had been crazy for her. Now I think I understand everything. I think Eric killed Belinda and stole her money and her perfume and he gave the perfume to Laura and she used it but she didn’t know that it is magic and that now Eric has fallen in love with her. Laura was smiling and giggling and she lay back on the sofa and I asked her if I could borrow the perfume for a while because I thought it smelled lovely and she giggled and said of course I could because I was her best friend and that it was thanks to me that she was doing this job and she was making so much money. I put the bottle in my bag and went home.
On the way home Vince called me and asked me if I wanted to buy some cocaine and I said yes, I did. I asked him to come around that evening because now I have more than £10,000 in my apartment and I need his help to send it to my bank account in Udon Thani.
After I got home I had five more customers. One of them was black and I was so scared when I saw him on my CCTV. I phoned Natalie and said that he was black and she said that it didn’t matter because he was a customer and I had to see him. I was scared to let him into my apartment because I had so much money there but actually, he was quite nice. His name was Derek and he was from Brixton which is in South London and he spoke just like he was English. He repaired computers and was quite smart and to tell the truth I had quite a good time with him. I don’t know why I was so scared of black men before because Derek was a good man. Jai Dee we say in Thai, which means he has a good heart. Not like Eric and Leif. They are Jam Dam and Jai Lai and even Jai Sat, which are bad words in Thai.
Leif came to collect my money at half past two in the morning. I had £850 for him. He said that next Saturday night there would be a party at the house in St Johns Wood and that all the girls from the agency would be going. He said that Eric wanted me to do a sex show with Candy and Laura, a domination show with Candy and Laura being the dominant ones and me being the slave. Leif said he was looking forward to seeing what the girls were going to do to me and he smiled and it was a very cruel smile. I was a bit scared but I know I have no choice. I have to do whatever they say. That is my life now. He told me to give him oral and he did and then he said he wanted to have sex so I went to the bedroom and lay down. He took off his clothes and before I could do anything he was having sex with me. I begged him to use a condom but he wouldn’t. When he went I rushed to the bathroom and spent ages washing myself, but no matter how hard I washed I didn’t feel clean.
Sunday, 11 November 2007
Leif
On Saturday I had twelve customers. Seven were for half an hour incall, four were for one hour incall, and one was a three hour outcall at the Hilton near Paddington Station. Four of the incall customers wanted anal. Actually now anal is not too bad. It doesn’t hurt if I relax and think about something else and it means I don’t have to look at the customer. I try to do it doggy style now too because that means I don’t see the customer and I can close my eyes and think about something else. I still make noises as if I enjoy it because otherwise they might complain to Eric that I am not giving good service, but really I hate every minute.
The outcall job was okay, actually. He was a businessman from Bristol which is in the West Country. His name was George and he was about fifty-five and he was quite gentle. He couldn’t get very hard so we didn’t make love properly but I gave him a massage and oral and for most of the time we just lay cuddling on his bed. He actually let me go after two hours even though he paid for three and it was about ten o’clock so I decided I would hurry to Thai Square.
I caught the Underground train at Paddington and got a Bakerloo Line train to Charing Cross which is not far from Trafalgar Square which is where the Thai Square bar is. There was an advertisement on the Tube for something called Poppy Project which is a company which helps working girls who have been trafficked. I wrote down the number – 0207 840 7129. The advert said that they could give working girls a place to stay and someone to listen to but I am not sure if they would be able to help me or my friends. And really, I have not been trafficked. I chose to come to London and I chose to be a working girl. The only thing I did not choose was to work for Eric.
Moon and Nat were there drinking with some girls from A1 that I hadn’t met before. They all seemed very pleased to see me and Moon bought me a Bacardi Breezer. The girls were all talking about a Lithuanian woman who had been arrested for running an escort agency and for a moment I thought they might be talking about Natalie, but they weren’t. The woman was arrested in Brent which is in North London and there had been two men from Albania arrested with her. She had twelve girls working for her but Nat said they weren’t Thai, they were from Eastern Europe. Moon said that the police had given the operation a name, it was called Operation Pentameter and it was to protect victims of trafficking. I was going to ask Moon if she knew the names of the policemen who were involved but then you know who came into the bar? It was Cat, with another Thai girl. I could not believe it. When Cat saw me she went out straight away but I ran after her and I caught up with her outside the bar. She said she didn’t want to talk to me but I said that she had to because what had happened to me wasn’t fair. I had worked for the agency for more than four months and I had been a good worker. But I had been working for her and Oliver and now I was working for Eric and that was not fair because I hadn’t chosen to work for Eric.
Cat said it wasn’t her fault. Eric had taken over the agency and there was nothing she could do. I asked her why Oliver had let Eric take over the agency and Cat laughed and said that there was nothing Oliver could do. Eric was mafia and he could kill people. I said I wanted to speak to Oliver and she said I couldn’t because she didn’t know where he was.
Cat said that Oliver had gone with Eric and two other men and she hadn’t seen him since and his mobile was switched off. I asked her what she thought had happened to Oliver and she said she didn’t know. I asked her if she had gone to the police and she said if she went to the police then Eric would kill her, for sure. Eric had killed people in Lithuania, that’s what Oliver had told her. He was a gangster who dealt in guns and drugs and prostitutes and he wasn’t scared of anything or anybody.
I asked her if she thought that Eric had killed Oliver and Cat said she didn’t think that, but she thought that Oliver was so scared that he had run away. I asked her what she was going to do and she said she was going to bring some Thai girls over from Bangkok and have them work in a flat in Chelsea but that she wouldn’t have an internet escort agency again because it was too dangerous. If you were on the internet then anybody could see how many girls you had and know how much money you were making.
Then I asked Cat if Eric was telling the truth about what he could do to our families in Thailand and she said yes, she was sorry but he had friends who were Lithuanian mafia who worked in Pattaya and that was why he wanted our passports and ID cards. He had sent copies to his friends in Pattaya and they already knew everything about where we lived and who our families were. She said that all I could do was to work for Eric. She said that I had no choice. Then my phone rang and it was Natalie saying that I had an incall job in fifteen minutes. Cat ran away when I was talking to Natalie. She got into a cab and drove off and I was so angry but there was nothing I could do. I got a cab and when I got back to my flat the customer was outside waiting for me.
The big man who had forced me to do anal came to get my money at three o’clock in the morning. During the day I had earned £1,840 which meant that I had to give him £920. I think Eric is making a lot of money from us girls, much more than Oliver ever got. There are nine girls working for the agency so if they are all giving him almost £900 a day then every day he is earning about £8,000 every day which means in one year he will earn almost three million pounds. I do not think I will be able to work like this for one year, though. I think I would rather die than do this for a year. The man said that his name was Leif and he wanted me to give him oral sex. I did because I knew that if I didn’t I would have a big problem. I know now that I have to do whatever Eric and Leif and the rest of them want. I have no choice.
On Saturday Natalie sent me my first customer at eleven o’clock in the morning which meant that I only slept for six hours. I felt terrible but I had some cocaine so I took that so that I had some energy. Natalie sent me three more customers before five o’clock but then it was quiet for three hours so I got some sleep then. But I had to do laundry first. I have so many customers now that I don’t have time to give them clean towels any more. If the towels are wet then I put them in the dryer for a bit but if they are not wet I just use them again. Before I used to use a clean towel on the bed for every customer but now I keep the same towel on the bed all day. I don’t shower after every customer now. I don’t have the time and even if I did then it wouldn’t be good for my skin to have ten or twelve showers every day.
You know, before I was an escort girl and I quite liked my job and I was proud that my customers liked me and I gave good service. But now I am a whore and no one cares about me. They just want to use me and that makes me feel bad.
Natalie called me again at eight o’clock and I was busy all night. Nancy called me three times during the night asking me if I would go around to see her but I couldn’t because I was so busy. I didn’t finish working until three o’clock in the morning and then I went to see her. She was crying and saying that she wished she was dead, and I said that I understood how she felt. Nancy said that she was as busy as me and that one day she had had fifteen customers. She said she hurt inside, too, and sometimes when she went to the toilet there was blood.
I asked her about Chris and she said that Chris had phoned her and told her to stay away from the hospital because the police kept coming to see him to find out what had happened. Nancy said that Chris was very scared of Eric and said that Nancy had to do whatever Eric said because otherwise he would hurt Chris again and maybe kill him.
Nancy said that she couldn’t sleep she was so worried and that she was going to get some sleeping pills from a doctor. I said that I always fell asleep really quickly because I was so tired but she said she couldn’t sleep because she was thinking too much. I told her about the advertisement I had seen for the Poppy Project and I gave her the telephone number but she said that she didn’t think the police would be able to stop Eric and I think that she might be right. We both lay on her bed and held each other and cried and eventually we slept. We woke up when her phone rang at ten o’clock in the morning. It was Natalie, telling her to get ready for a customer so I had to leave her and go home.
The outcall job was okay, actually. He was a businessman from Bristol which is in the West Country. His name was George and he was about fifty-five and he was quite gentle. He couldn’t get very hard so we didn’t make love properly but I gave him a massage and oral and for most of the time we just lay cuddling on his bed. He actually let me go after two hours even though he paid for three and it was about ten o’clock so I decided I would hurry to Thai Square.
I caught the Underground train at Paddington and got a Bakerloo Line train to Charing Cross which is not far from Trafalgar Square which is where the Thai Square bar is. There was an advertisement on the Tube for something called Poppy Project which is a company which helps working girls who have been trafficked. I wrote down the number – 0207 840 7129. The advert said that they could give working girls a place to stay and someone to listen to but I am not sure if they would be able to help me or my friends. And really, I have not been trafficked. I chose to come to London and I chose to be a working girl. The only thing I did not choose was to work for Eric.
Moon and Nat were there drinking with some girls from A1 that I hadn’t met before. They all seemed very pleased to see me and Moon bought me a Bacardi Breezer. The girls were all talking about a Lithuanian woman who had been arrested for running an escort agency and for a moment I thought they might be talking about Natalie, but they weren’t. The woman was arrested in Brent which is in North London and there had been two men from Albania arrested with her. She had twelve girls working for her but Nat said they weren’t Thai, they were from Eastern Europe. Moon said that the police had given the operation a name, it was called Operation Pentameter and it was to protect victims of trafficking. I was going to ask Moon if she knew the names of the policemen who were involved but then you know who came into the bar? It was Cat, with another Thai girl. I could not believe it. When Cat saw me she went out straight away but I ran after her and I caught up with her outside the bar. She said she didn’t want to talk to me but I said that she had to because what had happened to me wasn’t fair. I had worked for the agency for more than four months and I had been a good worker. But I had been working for her and Oliver and now I was working for Eric and that was not fair because I hadn’t chosen to work for Eric.
Cat said it wasn’t her fault. Eric had taken over the agency and there was nothing she could do. I asked her why Oliver had let Eric take over the agency and Cat laughed and said that there was nothing Oliver could do. Eric was mafia and he could kill people. I said I wanted to speak to Oliver and she said I couldn’t because she didn’t know where he was.
Cat said that Oliver had gone with Eric and two other men and she hadn’t seen him since and his mobile was switched off. I asked her what she thought had happened to Oliver and she said she didn’t know. I asked her if she had gone to the police and she said if she went to the police then Eric would kill her, for sure. Eric had killed people in Lithuania, that’s what Oliver had told her. He was a gangster who dealt in guns and drugs and prostitutes and he wasn’t scared of anything or anybody.
I asked her if she thought that Eric had killed Oliver and Cat said she didn’t think that, but she thought that Oliver was so scared that he had run away. I asked her what she was going to do and she said she was going to bring some Thai girls over from Bangkok and have them work in a flat in Chelsea but that she wouldn’t have an internet escort agency again because it was too dangerous. If you were on the internet then anybody could see how many girls you had and know how much money you were making.
Then I asked Cat if Eric was telling the truth about what he could do to our families in Thailand and she said yes, she was sorry but he had friends who were Lithuanian mafia who worked in Pattaya and that was why he wanted our passports and ID cards. He had sent copies to his friends in Pattaya and they already knew everything about where we lived and who our families were. She said that all I could do was to work for Eric. She said that I had no choice. Then my phone rang and it was Natalie saying that I had an incall job in fifteen minutes. Cat ran away when I was talking to Natalie. She got into a cab and drove off and I was so angry but there was nothing I could do. I got a cab and when I got back to my flat the customer was outside waiting for me.
The big man who had forced me to do anal came to get my money at three o’clock in the morning. During the day I had earned £1,840 which meant that I had to give him £920. I think Eric is making a lot of money from us girls, much more than Oliver ever got. There are nine girls working for the agency so if they are all giving him almost £900 a day then every day he is earning about £8,000 every day which means in one year he will earn almost three million pounds. I do not think I will be able to work like this for one year, though. I think I would rather die than do this for a year. The man said that his name was Leif and he wanted me to give him oral sex. I did because I knew that if I didn’t I would have a big problem. I know now that I have to do whatever Eric and Leif and the rest of them want. I have no choice.
On Saturday Natalie sent me my first customer at eleven o’clock in the morning which meant that I only slept for six hours. I felt terrible but I had some cocaine so I took that so that I had some energy. Natalie sent me three more customers before five o’clock but then it was quiet for three hours so I got some sleep then. But I had to do laundry first. I have so many customers now that I don’t have time to give them clean towels any more. If the towels are wet then I put them in the dryer for a bit but if they are not wet I just use them again. Before I used to use a clean towel on the bed for every customer but now I keep the same towel on the bed all day. I don’t shower after every customer now. I don’t have the time and even if I did then it wouldn’t be good for my skin to have ten or twelve showers every day.
You know, before I was an escort girl and I quite liked my job and I was proud that my customers liked me and I gave good service. But now I am a whore and no one cares about me. They just want to use me and that makes me feel bad.
Natalie called me again at eight o’clock and I was busy all night. Nancy called me three times during the night asking me if I would go around to see her but I couldn’t because I was so busy. I didn’t finish working until three o’clock in the morning and then I went to see her. She was crying and saying that she wished she was dead, and I said that I understood how she felt. Nancy said that she was as busy as me and that one day she had had fifteen customers. She said she hurt inside, too, and sometimes when she went to the toilet there was blood.
I asked her about Chris and she said that Chris had phoned her and told her to stay away from the hospital because the police kept coming to see him to find out what had happened. Nancy said that Chris was very scared of Eric and said that Nancy had to do whatever Eric said because otherwise he would hurt Chris again and maybe kill him.
Nancy said that she couldn’t sleep she was so worried and that she was going to get some sleeping pills from a doctor. I said that I always fell asleep really quickly because I was so tired but she said she couldn’t sleep because she was thinking too much. I told her about the advertisement I had seen for the Poppy Project and I gave her the telephone number but she said that she didn’t think the police would be able to stop Eric and I think that she might be right. We both lay on her bed and held each other and cried and eventually we slept. We woke up when her phone rang at ten o’clock in the morning. It was Natalie, telling her to get ready for a customer so I had to leave her and go home.
Friday, 9 November 2007
I wish I was dead
I wish I was dead. Really. My life now is horrible and I don’t think there is anything I can do to make it better. I have to do whatever Eric says and if I don’t he will hurt me and my family. I want to run but there is nowhere I can run to.
They came to my flat at eleven o’clock in the morning. They were the two men who had come with Eric the first time but yesterday Eric was not with them. The big one, the one that wanted me to give him oral last time, did all the talking while the other one just stared at me and grinned like it made him happy to see me cry.
The big man said that customers had complained that I did not do anal. I said that I never did anal, I would do anything else and I would give good service but I did not do anal. The man said that anal was nothing, I was a whore and whores did whatever their customers wanted them to. I said no, I wasn’t a whore, I was an escort, and escorts could choose what they did.
He shook his head and said that I was not an escort, I was a whore. If a customer wanted my mouth, I had to give him my mouth. If a customer wanted my pussy then I had to give them my pussy. If a customer wanted my bum then I had to give him my bum. I was a whore and I had no choice. I was so unhappy that I could not speak, I just stood there shaking my head.
What happened then is so horrible I do not want to talk about it. I do not want to think about it. The second man said something in his language to the big man and they both laughed and then the big man grabbed me and took me into the bedroom and they both took off my clothes. I tried to scream but the big man used the belt of my robe to tie my mouth and then they threw me on the bed and they both did anal to me. Both of them did it and do you know what, they did not even use a condom. They were so rough and the pain was so bad that I nearly passed out. They were cursing me and saying that if I ever complained about anal then next time five men would come and they would rape me all night. They said I was their whore and I must never ever argue with them again.
When they had finished they left me on the bed and I just lay there crying and then after fifteen minutes Natalie rang and said I had an incall customer. I went to the bathroom and when I washed myself there was blood. Quite a lot of blood, actually.
The first customer was okay. He was a businessman in his forties, I think, and he only wanted oral. But then I was busy all day. I had twelve customers. Three of them wanted anal and I did it. I just lay there and let them do it to me. It hurt a lot because Eric’s men had been so rough but I did not cry, I just lay there and tried to imagine that I was somewhere else and that it was happening to somebody else. I tried to feel like a block of wood because nothing can hurt a block of wood.
After the first customer went Vince phoned me and said he was sorry but his phone battery had died last night and I said I need some cocaine and he brought some for me and I gave him £200. Using cocaine is the only way I can get through the day now. It gives me energy. I wanted to tell Vince about what had happened to my life but I don’t think he can help me so I didn’t. I don’t think anyone can help me now. I feel so alone and sad, sad, sad.
They came to my flat at eleven o’clock in the morning. They were the two men who had come with Eric the first time but yesterday Eric was not with them. The big one, the one that wanted me to give him oral last time, did all the talking while the other one just stared at me and grinned like it made him happy to see me cry.
The big man said that customers had complained that I did not do anal. I said that I never did anal, I would do anything else and I would give good service but I did not do anal. The man said that anal was nothing, I was a whore and whores did whatever their customers wanted them to. I said no, I wasn’t a whore, I was an escort, and escorts could choose what they did.
He shook his head and said that I was not an escort, I was a whore. If a customer wanted my mouth, I had to give him my mouth. If a customer wanted my pussy then I had to give them my pussy. If a customer wanted my bum then I had to give him my bum. I was a whore and I had no choice. I was so unhappy that I could not speak, I just stood there shaking my head.
What happened then is so horrible I do not want to talk about it. I do not want to think about it. The second man said something in his language to the big man and they both laughed and then the big man grabbed me and took me into the bedroom and they both took off my clothes. I tried to scream but the big man used the belt of my robe to tie my mouth and then they threw me on the bed and they both did anal to me. Both of them did it and do you know what, they did not even use a condom. They were so rough and the pain was so bad that I nearly passed out. They were cursing me and saying that if I ever complained about anal then next time five men would come and they would rape me all night. They said I was their whore and I must never ever argue with them again.
When they had finished they left me on the bed and I just lay there crying and then after fifteen minutes Natalie rang and said I had an incall customer. I went to the bathroom and when I washed myself there was blood. Quite a lot of blood, actually.
The first customer was okay. He was a businessman in his forties, I think, and he only wanted oral. But then I was busy all day. I had twelve customers. Three of them wanted anal and I did it. I just lay there and let them do it to me. It hurt a lot because Eric’s men had been so rough but I did not cry, I just lay there and tried to imagine that I was somewhere else and that it was happening to somebody else. I tried to feel like a block of wood because nothing can hurt a block of wood.
After the first customer went Vince phoned me and said he was sorry but his phone battery had died last night and I said I need some cocaine and he brought some for me and I gave him £200. Using cocaine is the only way I can get through the day now. It gives me energy. I wanted to tell Vince about what had happened to my life but I don’t think he can help me so I didn’t. I don’t think anyone can help me now. I feel so alone and sad, sad, sad.
Thursday, 8 November 2007
Trapped
It seems like all I do now is work and sleep, work and sleep, and sometimes I eat. I am so tired, so tired that my life feels like a dream. Sometimes when I am having sex it feels like it is someone else on the bed, not me. If it wasn’t for the cocaine that I buy from Vince I wouldn’t be able to do it. Actually I am making quite a bit of money even though I have to give half to Eric. I am much busier than before. Much, much busier. And I am saving money because I have no time to go shopping and I did not play cards on Sunday night. But that does not mean I am happy because I am not happy. I hate my life now.
Most of my jobs are incall and a lot of them are for thirty minutes. I understand why. It is because Eric wants to make as much money from me as possible. If I do one hour incall then I charge £150. When Oliver was in charge, I would keep £100 and give £50 to Oliver. Now I keep £75 and I give £75 to Eric. But if I see two customers for half an hour each, then I earn £200 and I keep £100 and give £100 to Eric. That means that I earn the same but Eric earns £25 more. But what is not fair is that now I am having to work twice as hard as I worked before. Before I could have sex with one man to earn £100 but now I have to have sex with two men. I am working twice as hard.
Outcalls are still for one hour. It would be impossible to do outcall for just thirty minutes. Outcall means travelling to where the customer is so that will cost money and take time. If I do an hours incall then I charge £210 and now I keep £105 and I give £105 to Eric. But I have to pay for my taxi and not all my outcall customers tip me so if I have to pay for my taxi then I earn less for outcall then incall but Eric gets more. Before when I did an hours outcall I would keep £140 and Oliver would get £70 so now outcall is not such a good deal for me. But I prefer outcall because it means I am not so rushed. I can relax a bit. When I am in my room seeing customers for half an hour then I am not relaxed.
At about five o’clock Natalie phoned me and said that I had to do two hours incall with Sandra at her flat. I didn’t want to do it because I know that Sandra is still not happy with me but I know that I can not argue with Natalie because if I do she will tell Eric and then I will be in trouble.
I got to the flat just before the customer was due because I didn’t want to talk to Sandra but actually she was okay and quite sweet to me. I asked her what she thought about Eric and she said she wasn’t happy. She said her boyfriend was not happy and I told her what had happened to Nancy’s boyfriend Chris. Nancy had phoned me to tell me that she had gone to see Chris in hospital and that he was really hurt. The doctors had asked him what had happened and he told them that he had fallen downstairs. He said that if he told them what had really happened then Eric would kill him and kill Nancy. Sandra said she didn’t think Eric would kill them but I told her that he had said he would cut me with a knife and that he would kill my son. He has our passports and our ID cards and he knows where we live.
Sandra said it would not be a problem to get a new passport because all we had to do was to go to the Thai Embassy in London and tell them who we were. And it would be easy to get a ticket and go back to Thailand. We could say that we had visas in the passports that were stolen so we wouldn’t have a problem leaving the country. I said that maybe Eric did have friends in Thailand and that if he did then he could still hurt us. Sandra said that when we got to Thailand we could change our names and get new ID cards because it is easy to change your name in Thailand. But I am not sure if that would work. I think Eric is a very bad man who is not scared of anybody and I think that if we run away and he finds us then really he will hurt us a lot and maybe kill us. I have never met anyone as evil as Eric.
The customer’s name was Owen and he was English but not from London. He was from a city called Newcastle which is up near Scotland and he had a strange accent that I could hardly understand. I think he had taken Viagra because he had a red face and sniffed a lot and he stayed hard for the whole two hours. Sandra gave him oral and then I gave him oral and then he had sex with Sandra from behind and then I went on top and then he wanted oral from me while he kissed Sandra and then he made love to me doggy-style and then he wanted me to lick him while he had sex with Sandra. He made love for the whole two hours and I was exhausted. After Owen had gone I went home without showering because I wanted to get away from Sandra. I don’t think she has a good heart and I do not think I can trust her. I wanted to talk to Vince but when I called him his phone was off. I left a message saying that I wanted to talk to him and that I needed to buy some more cocaine.
I had five more customers after I got home and the last one left at three o’clock in the morning. Three of them asked for anal and I had to tell them that I do not do anal. When Natalie phoned me I asked her to change what was written on my cards because so many customers want me to do anal and she said I should do it and charge more but I said I didn’t want to do it so she said she would talk to Eric which was nice of her. When I had finished work I was so tired that I did not even shower I just fell asleep on the sofa.
I woke up when there was a banging on the door and it was Eric coming to collect his money. I gave him £750 and he went. He didn’t say anything about anal so maybe Natalie hadn’t spoken to him. I went into the bedroom and fell asleep right away. I had bad dreams all night and in them Belinda was covered in blood and shouting at me that I should run, run, run because I was going to die if I stayed where I was. I want to run, really I do, but I don’t know where I can run to where I will be safe.
Most of my jobs are incall and a lot of them are for thirty minutes. I understand why. It is because Eric wants to make as much money from me as possible. If I do one hour incall then I charge £150. When Oliver was in charge, I would keep £100 and give £50 to Oliver. Now I keep £75 and I give £75 to Eric. But if I see two customers for half an hour each, then I earn £200 and I keep £100 and give £100 to Eric. That means that I earn the same but Eric earns £25 more. But what is not fair is that now I am having to work twice as hard as I worked before. Before I could have sex with one man to earn £100 but now I have to have sex with two men. I am working twice as hard.
Outcalls are still for one hour. It would be impossible to do outcall for just thirty minutes. Outcall means travelling to where the customer is so that will cost money and take time. If I do an hours incall then I charge £210 and now I keep £105 and I give £105 to Eric. But I have to pay for my taxi and not all my outcall customers tip me so if I have to pay for my taxi then I earn less for outcall then incall but Eric gets more. Before when I did an hours outcall I would keep £140 and Oliver would get £70 so now outcall is not such a good deal for me. But I prefer outcall because it means I am not so rushed. I can relax a bit. When I am in my room seeing customers for half an hour then I am not relaxed.
At about five o’clock Natalie phoned me and said that I had to do two hours incall with Sandra at her flat. I didn’t want to do it because I know that Sandra is still not happy with me but I know that I can not argue with Natalie because if I do she will tell Eric and then I will be in trouble.
I got to the flat just before the customer was due because I didn’t want to talk to Sandra but actually she was okay and quite sweet to me. I asked her what she thought about Eric and she said she wasn’t happy. She said her boyfriend was not happy and I told her what had happened to Nancy’s boyfriend Chris. Nancy had phoned me to tell me that she had gone to see Chris in hospital and that he was really hurt. The doctors had asked him what had happened and he told them that he had fallen downstairs. He said that if he told them what had really happened then Eric would kill him and kill Nancy. Sandra said she didn’t think Eric would kill them but I told her that he had said he would cut me with a knife and that he would kill my son. He has our passports and our ID cards and he knows where we live.
Sandra said it would not be a problem to get a new passport because all we had to do was to go to the Thai Embassy in London and tell them who we were. And it would be easy to get a ticket and go back to Thailand. We could say that we had visas in the passports that were stolen so we wouldn’t have a problem leaving the country. I said that maybe Eric did have friends in Thailand and that if he did then he could still hurt us. Sandra said that when we got to Thailand we could change our names and get new ID cards because it is easy to change your name in Thailand. But I am not sure if that would work. I think Eric is a very bad man who is not scared of anybody and I think that if we run away and he finds us then really he will hurt us a lot and maybe kill us. I have never met anyone as evil as Eric.
The customer’s name was Owen and he was English but not from London. He was from a city called Newcastle which is up near Scotland and he had a strange accent that I could hardly understand. I think he had taken Viagra because he had a red face and sniffed a lot and he stayed hard for the whole two hours. Sandra gave him oral and then I gave him oral and then he had sex with Sandra from behind and then I went on top and then he wanted oral from me while he kissed Sandra and then he made love to me doggy-style and then he wanted me to lick him while he had sex with Sandra. He made love for the whole two hours and I was exhausted. After Owen had gone I went home without showering because I wanted to get away from Sandra. I don’t think she has a good heart and I do not think I can trust her. I wanted to talk to Vince but when I called him his phone was off. I left a message saying that I wanted to talk to him and that I needed to buy some more cocaine.
I had five more customers after I got home and the last one left at three o’clock in the morning. Three of them asked for anal and I had to tell them that I do not do anal. When Natalie phoned me I asked her to change what was written on my cards because so many customers want me to do anal and she said I should do it and charge more but I said I didn’t want to do it so she said she would talk to Eric which was nice of her. When I had finished work I was so tired that I did not even shower I just fell asleep on the sofa.
I woke up when there was a banging on the door and it was Eric coming to collect his money. I gave him £750 and he went. He didn’t say anything about anal so maybe Natalie hadn’t spoken to him. I went into the bedroom and fell asleep right away. I had bad dreams all night and in them Belinda was covered in blood and shouting at me that I should run, run, run because I was going to die if I stayed where I was. I want to run, really I do, but I don’t know where I can run to where I will be safe.
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
My sad life
What is happening to me is not fair. All I ever wanted to do was to work and make good money to take care of my son and my family. But now I feel like a prisoner because I have to work for Eric. And it is not just Eric, I think. I think now the mafia are running the agency. Mafia from Lithuania. Oliver has gone now and so has Cat and it is always the girl called Natalie who calls and tells us who are customers are. Work is horrible now. Really horrible. When Oliver was the boss I saw a few customers a day and they were usually nice and kind and I had a good time but now I don’t like most of the men who come to see me. A lot come for just half an hour and all they want is oral and sex and they don’t want to talk to me or get to know me. Some of them ask for anal and I say that I don’t do anal and some of them get angry because it says I do A Levels on my card. It’s like before I was an escort and now I am just a prostitute and I feel dirty. I know now that there is nothing I can do to stop what is happening. I know that for sure if I do not do what Eric says he will hurt me and he will hurt my family.
On Monday morning I went to see Nancy. Chris was there and he was very angry. Nancy was crying and said that Eric had told her what he told me. No one had slapped Nancy but they had told her that they knew where her mother lived and that if she tried to run away someone in Thailand would go and kill her mother. They knew Nancy’s mother’s address and everything about her. I believe that they have someone in Thailand who knows all about us now. Nancy said she was scared and I said I was scared too. She said she was working very hard now and seeing more then ten customers ever day and she didn’t want to because she wanted to spend more time with Chris. Chris wanted to go to the police but Nancy said that the British police wouldn’t be able to protect her family in Thailand which I think is true. Chris said the British police could talk to the Thai police but we told Chris that he didn’t understand what life was like in Thailand. If somebody wanted to hurt our families they could. Chris said that he would talk to Eric and see if he could get him to let Nancy go. He said he would tell the newspapers about what was happening and that Eric wouldn’t want the newspapers to know so maybe he would agree to Nancy leaving the agency. I didn’t think Eric would listen to anyone but I didn’t say anything to Chris.
Then my phone rang and it was Natalie telling me I had a customer so I had to go home. On Monday night Eric came to see me and he looked at my book and then took half the money I had earned. I had seen six customers who came for half an hour each so that was £600 and I had four customers for one hour which was another £600 so I had earned £1,200 and so Eric took £600. That means I had £600 for myself which sounds like a lot but I had to have sex with ten men for that which means I was getting only £60 each time which is not good. I was tired and I was sore and all I wanted to do was to sleep. I told Eric I wanted to stop work and he said I couldn’t. I said that wasn’t fair and he said he didn’t care what was fair. He took a flicknife out of his pocket and showed it to me and he said he would cut my face if I tried to stop working. I asked him if I could pay him money to stop working and he laughed. He said a good whore could earn him £200,000 in a year so if I wanted to stop working I had to pay him £200,000 which is a fortune. Eric said once I had earned £200,000 for him he would let me go but I don’t believe him. I knew there was no point in saying anything to him so I just stayed quiet. He laughed and then he took a photograph out of his pocket and showed it to me and it was Daeng with my mother in front of my house and I knew then that I was trapped and there is nothing I can do to save myself. I belong to Eric now like a cow belongs to a farmer. I don’t know why this has happened to me because I am a good person and I never do anything to hurt anybody.
I went to sleep after Eric went but I was woken up by Nancy who was crying so much that I couldn’t understand what was wrong so I had to go around to her flat to talk to her. She was crying and crying and wouldn’t stop but eventually she told me what had happened. Chris had been in the flat when Eric went to get his money and Chris said that he didn’t want Nancy to work any more. Eric had smiled and nodded and said that he understood. Eric said that he would let Nancy leave the agency and then he held out his hand to shake and Chris took his hand and then Eric headbutted him. He broke Chris’s nose and then he kicked him between the legs and Chris fell down. Then Eric picked up a lamp and smashed that onto Chris’s head and then he started stamping on his legs so hard that he broke the bones and then he kicked him in the stomach many times. Nancy tried to help but Eric punched her and she collapsed. Then Eric kept kicking Chris until he was unconscious. Then Nancy said that Eric phoned his friends and they came and took Chris away. Now Nancy doesn’t know if Chris is alive or dead. And Eric told her that if she ever told anybody what had happened he would do the same to her and then he would do the same to her mother. Nancy hugged me and said she was so scared and I said that I was scared too. It is like Eric is not scared of anything or anybody and can do whatever he likes to other people. Nancy said she wanted to kill herself and I understood how she felt but I said no, she mustn’t do that. She said that being dead would be better than the way she was living now and I think she might be right. We lay together on her bed and cried together and that’s what we did all night.
I was busy on Tuesday, too. It was like I had a constant stream of customers one after the other. Sometimes I didn’t even have time to wash or shower. Every one of the customers I saw was a new customer and I asked some of them where they had heard about me and they all said they had seen my picture in a phone box. And you know, they had seen my pictures all over London not just near my flat. Not one of the customers had come because they had seen the agency website. Now I know what I am. I am not an escort any more. I am a prostitute. That is not what I wanted but now it is my life. I am so sad. Sad, sad, sad.
I want to phone Daeng and hear his voice but I can not because I know I will just start crying and I do not want to upset him.
At about six o’clock my phone rang and it was Robert. He asked me if I was okay and I lied and said that I was. He said that he had tried to book me three times but that each time he had been told that I was busy. I said I was busy but I asked him if he would keep trying and he said that he would. I said that I missed him which was true.
At about midnight I phoned Laura to see if she was okay and you know, she said she was happy with the way she was working. She said she was really busy and earning very good money and that really it was fair that she gave half to Eric because they were getting her more money than Oliver did. I asked her if Eric had threatened her and she said he had but that there was no need for him to threaten her because she was happy. And she said that Eric was quite cute and that she had had sex with him for free when he went to her flat. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. She did FFF with the man who is threatening to kill my son. I think there is something wrong with Laura. I think she is a bit crazy.
Eric came to get my money at two o’clock in the morning. He checked my book and I gave him £750 and he asked me if everything was okay and I smiled and said it was. After he went I cried and cried. Then I got a text from Robert saying that he missed me and that made me smile a bit. I sent him a text back saying that I missed him. Maybe Robert can help me. He is rich and rich people have power. That is true in Thailand and it is true in England, too. But I am a bit scared that if I ask Robert for help and Eric finds out then Eric might do something bad to him, and to me. I don’t think Eric is scared of anybody. And even if Robert helps me, how will I be able to protect my family?
On Monday morning I went to see Nancy. Chris was there and he was very angry. Nancy was crying and said that Eric had told her what he told me. No one had slapped Nancy but they had told her that they knew where her mother lived and that if she tried to run away someone in Thailand would go and kill her mother. They knew Nancy’s mother’s address and everything about her. I believe that they have someone in Thailand who knows all about us now. Nancy said she was scared and I said I was scared too. She said she was working very hard now and seeing more then ten customers ever day and she didn’t want to because she wanted to spend more time with Chris. Chris wanted to go to the police but Nancy said that the British police wouldn’t be able to protect her family in Thailand which I think is true. Chris said the British police could talk to the Thai police but we told Chris that he didn’t understand what life was like in Thailand. If somebody wanted to hurt our families they could. Chris said that he would talk to Eric and see if he could get him to let Nancy go. He said he would tell the newspapers about what was happening and that Eric wouldn’t want the newspapers to know so maybe he would agree to Nancy leaving the agency. I didn’t think Eric would listen to anyone but I didn’t say anything to Chris.
Then my phone rang and it was Natalie telling me I had a customer so I had to go home. On Monday night Eric came to see me and he looked at my book and then took half the money I had earned. I had seen six customers who came for half an hour each so that was £600 and I had four customers for one hour which was another £600 so I had earned £1,200 and so Eric took £600. That means I had £600 for myself which sounds like a lot but I had to have sex with ten men for that which means I was getting only £60 each time which is not good. I was tired and I was sore and all I wanted to do was to sleep. I told Eric I wanted to stop work and he said I couldn’t. I said that wasn’t fair and he said he didn’t care what was fair. He took a flicknife out of his pocket and showed it to me and he said he would cut my face if I tried to stop working. I asked him if I could pay him money to stop working and he laughed. He said a good whore could earn him £200,000 in a year so if I wanted to stop working I had to pay him £200,000 which is a fortune. Eric said once I had earned £200,000 for him he would let me go but I don’t believe him. I knew there was no point in saying anything to him so I just stayed quiet. He laughed and then he took a photograph out of his pocket and showed it to me and it was Daeng with my mother in front of my house and I knew then that I was trapped and there is nothing I can do to save myself. I belong to Eric now like a cow belongs to a farmer. I don’t know why this has happened to me because I am a good person and I never do anything to hurt anybody.
I went to sleep after Eric went but I was woken up by Nancy who was crying so much that I couldn’t understand what was wrong so I had to go around to her flat to talk to her. She was crying and crying and wouldn’t stop but eventually she told me what had happened. Chris had been in the flat when Eric went to get his money and Chris said that he didn’t want Nancy to work any more. Eric had smiled and nodded and said that he understood. Eric said that he would let Nancy leave the agency and then he held out his hand to shake and Chris took his hand and then Eric headbutted him. He broke Chris’s nose and then he kicked him between the legs and Chris fell down. Then Eric picked up a lamp and smashed that onto Chris’s head and then he started stamping on his legs so hard that he broke the bones and then he kicked him in the stomach many times. Nancy tried to help but Eric punched her and she collapsed. Then Eric kept kicking Chris until he was unconscious. Then Nancy said that Eric phoned his friends and they came and took Chris away. Now Nancy doesn’t know if Chris is alive or dead. And Eric told her that if she ever told anybody what had happened he would do the same to her and then he would do the same to her mother. Nancy hugged me and said she was so scared and I said that I was scared too. It is like Eric is not scared of anything or anybody and can do whatever he likes to other people. Nancy said she wanted to kill herself and I understood how she felt but I said no, she mustn’t do that. She said that being dead would be better than the way she was living now and I think she might be right. We lay together on her bed and cried together and that’s what we did all night.
I was busy on Tuesday, too. It was like I had a constant stream of customers one after the other. Sometimes I didn’t even have time to wash or shower. Every one of the customers I saw was a new customer and I asked some of them where they had heard about me and they all said they had seen my picture in a phone box. And you know, they had seen my pictures all over London not just near my flat. Not one of the customers had come because they had seen the agency website. Now I know what I am. I am not an escort any more. I am a prostitute. That is not what I wanted but now it is my life. I am so sad. Sad, sad, sad.
I want to phone Daeng and hear his voice but I can not because I know I will just start crying and I do not want to upset him.
At about six o’clock my phone rang and it was Robert. He asked me if I was okay and I lied and said that I was. He said that he had tried to book me three times but that each time he had been told that I was busy. I said I was busy but I asked him if he would keep trying and he said that he would. I said that I missed him which was true.
At about midnight I phoned Laura to see if she was okay and you know, she said she was happy with the way she was working. She said she was really busy and earning very good money and that really it was fair that she gave half to Eric because they were getting her more money than Oliver did. I asked her if Eric had threatened her and she said he had but that there was no need for him to threaten her because she was happy. And she said that Eric was quite cute and that she had had sex with him for free when he went to her flat. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. She did FFF with the man who is threatening to kill my son. I think there is something wrong with Laura. I think she is a bit crazy.
Eric came to get my money at two o’clock in the morning. He checked my book and I gave him £750 and he asked me if everything was okay and I smiled and said it was. After he went I cried and cried. Then I got a text from Robert saying that he missed me and that made me smile a bit. I sent him a text back saying that I missed him. Maybe Robert can help me. He is rich and rich people have power. That is true in Thailand and it is true in England, too. But I am a bit scared that if I ask Robert for help and Eric finds out then Eric might do something bad to him, and to me. I don’t think Eric is scared of anybody. And even if Robert helps me, how will I be able to protect my family?
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